I’m about to get very real here.
I am 31. I have been dieting for about the last 20 years of my life.
That is two-thirds of my life.
Guess what? I’m still overweight. I have had periods of my teenage years and adult years where I have been a so-called “normal” weight but the weight always comes back. Inevitably, I stop following whatever plan I had embarked on and I have never really learned how to deal with emotional eating.
A few days ago, I deleted the calorie counting app from my phone that I randomly fall back on. I took off my trusty FitBit. I no longer feel the need to quantify calories, steps, sleep, hours worked out, or what-the-fuck-ever thing I’m supposed to measure to lose weight.
I also unfollowed some people on Instagram and Facebook – because I don’t really care about what workout they’re doing. Or food they’re eating.
At the end of the day, I know several things… I want to eat better because I want to feel better. However, I will never have a be-all, end-all goal of weight loss again (it doesn’t work for me… it may for you so I’m not knocking that). I need to work harder on self-love because when this is consistent, I believe everything else will be easier. I also need to manage my stress eating.
So if you just read all of that, thanks. It felt good to get it off my chest.
On a side note, a few days out from this liberation, I do know this – eat like crap, feel like crap.
After I realized that I couldn’t live that way anymore, I also realized that I had the freedom to eat whatever the hell I wanted – guilt free. That included Diet Coke every night, accompanied by M&M’s and ice cream.
Inherently there’s nothing wrong with that. In my personal migraine world, though, extra sugar sends me to the medicine cabinet.
Reminder: I may be free to eat whatever the hell I want, and should eat whatever the hell I want, but I should also remember, for me, there may be consequences.
Next up… cookie review from my little sweet tooth foodie, Logan!