I’m Baaaack

Hello friends and readers, I am back.

I took a hiatus. I needed to take a break. I pushed myself back into this project too quickly, and overwhelmed myself. I didn’t realize just how much work blogging can be.

And I was tired.

I’ll be honest with you guys. In August, I had to have a brain surgery. I had a brain tumor removed. I am fine. The tumor was benign. I spent one night in Mayo Clinic’s Neuro ICU and was discharged the next day. Suffice it to say, I healed well.

But, healing from a major surgery was tiring. Toss in going back to work after recovering and yikes – recipe for burnout from blogging (or anything that remotely takes effort, even if it’s fun!)

But now that I am finally feeling like a human again, I’m really, actually living again.

I started teaching a yoga class on Saturday mornings. Did I mention that I earned my RYT-200 this past summer?

In October, I visited my best friend and saw a Paul McCartney concert. I also tried a circuit training class in 90 degree heat – hmmm! It was actually a fun experience!

I took a week-long road trip with Brad and Logan and ate the best BBQ of my life in St Louis. We checked out zoos, museums, and aquariums, too.

At the beginning of December, Brad and I, along with another one of my best friends, took Logan on the Polar Express in Green Bay, WI (check out the National Railroad Museum’s events here! It’s awesome if you have a train-loving kiddo!)

And now we’ve just finished up the holidays, and subsequently, the year 2017. Hallelujah.

Tomorrow, in 2018, Logan also starts “school” – preschool. Which means we’ll be even busier. So, readers, I’m going to share more recipes, more experiences, more life with all of you!

Stay tuned!

-KO

Migraines: My Story

From my posts, I know you can glean that I've been a long-time migraine sufferer. Today, I thought I'd share my story with you.

I'm 31 years old and I've been getting migraines since I was 12 years old – about two-thirds of my life. That's crazy to me that I've been dealing with this chronic issue for that long.

I can actually remember my very first migraine; I was at my best friends house (although at the time, we were just kind of new friends.  It was pretty obvious that I was hurting though, so her mom called my mom (embarrassing, right?) and I was given water, Tylenol and a nap.  I woke up feeling fine and the sleepover carried on.

But the headaches continued.  The pediatrician didn't quite know what to do with me, so I was sent to a pediatric neurologist, a lovely doctor who didn't want to start me on medications right away.  However, it wasn't long before I was missing school for headaches and I was popping pills before school in the morning.

Around the age of 15 or 16, the neurologist wanted to send me to University of Michigan's Headache Clinic, which was renowned for their work with kids.  I refused.  Luckily, around that time, my headaches got better.

And then, for a few years, I just felt better.

Migraines, cured.  It was like – discussion of an inpatient program and that was it!  I was a new person!

Enter college, where I was paying rent for an apartment with my two best friends, a cell phone bill, car insurance, and gas for said car.  And doing this by working as a cocktail waitress, working until bar close.   Oh, and don't forget – living the waitress lifestyle by drinking whatever cash was left over.

Let's just say that I got through college with a degree, little money, chronic daily migraines, and a whole lot of great memories.

Enter professional life. As a nurse, my first job was working night shift. Add to that going back to school… oh and did I mention, I was still working as a waitress? I switched my shifts to day shift – cocktail waitress by day, nurse by night, student somewhere along the seams.

Suffice it to say, something had to give. It was my health. My health was awful and my migraines weren't much better. I switched to a day shift job – and things improved.

My headaches were better for several years! Then I got pregnant – and they've been ebbing and flowing ever since.

Logan is 3 and when I look back at the past 20+ years of my migraine life, I've been on at least a dozen medications, have taken enough pain pills and anti-anxiety pills to tranquilizer a rhinoceros, and I've spent a fortune on alternative therapies.

So…. what's working for me these days?

Good question. Currently, my headaches are sporadic. I've been taking Topamax on and off for several years and it seems to work. I've got a slew of abortive medications at my disposal, just in case. However, I live in fear of the rebound headache, so my headache must be severe to pop a pill.

I'm treating my migraines from a holistic approach (aside from the Topamax). I take magnesium and vitamin D daily. I use Bach Rescue Remedy when I'm feeling stressed (yes, I'm fully aware that this may have a placebo effect) because my migraines are often related to stress. I also carry around peppermint oil – and I am known to smell like a candy cane.

I also try to get a massage with craniosacral therapy monthly. It is pricy but it is worth every penny.

As I've stated before, I also have a weekly coffee date with my therapist (haha).

Currently, I'm going through some health issues. I fully expected my migraines to flare up. Shockingly, since I've made these changes in my migraine management, my migraines have been under fairly good control.

Of course, this isn't to say I don't get a migraine that sends me to bed. In fact, last week I was in bed at 730pm on a beautiful night, ice pack to my skull and a myriad of meds swimming through my veins. But I've found a way to live that works a lot of the time, although I do have some work to do in managing my stress.

I encourage you to find what works best for you – whether it be medications or alternative therapies, or a combination of the two.

If you've found a way to manage your migraines, what's working for you?

-KO

Soy-Free Stirfry Sauce

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a food allergy, I’ll bet your family went through a time where you were like “OH EM GEE, HOW WILL WE EVER LIVE WITHOUT {insert food here}?!?!?”

When Logan was diagnosed with peanut, soy and dairy allergies, Brad’s first thought was of the pizza we’d be missing. Mine was of the Reese’s peanut butter cups Logan loved as a treat.

Then it hit me.

Oh my God. How would we get Logan to eat vegetables without stirfry?!?!

As a young toddler, Logan ate anything you’d put in front of him. Even raw onion (yes, Aunt Dena tried that one).

As he got older, his tastes inevitably got pickier. I’ve been told this happens (argh). But one meal remained constant – his love for stirfry.

So, I got to work finding a replacement for teriyaki sauce.

I found this recipe after much searching. I’d never heard of coconut aminos before but surprisingly, they were easily found at my grocery store, right by the teriyaki sauce.

So, I made the sauce. It was just ok – it was far too sweet for my liking – there’s quite a bit of sweeteners with the honey and the orange juice.

After tweaking the recipe to to our family’s liking, here’s what works best for us.

Soy-Free Stirfry Sauce

Yields sauce for one stirfry

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup coconut aminos (the brand I’ve found is Coconut Secret)
• 1/4 cup of water
• 1 tbsp rice wine vinegar (essential – DO NOT LEAVE THIS OUT!)
• 2 tbsp honey (I used maple syrup once in a pinch)
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1/4 tsp ginger (you can also use fresh ginger, but I never have this at home)
• Salt to taste (I do several twists of my Himalayan pink salt grinder because like I said, I like my sauce less sweet)
• Optional: crushed red peppers to taste (I highly recommend, but I often leave out because of Logan)

Method:

Dump all ingredients in a small saucepan. Bring to boiling on medium-high heat. Reduce heat and simmer until sauce thickens. Pour generously over stirfry.

It looks just like teriyaki sauce, and it beautiful with those cloves of garlic, if I do say so myself.

He’s a tough critic, but he likes it so much that he omits the fork.

-KO

Food Freedom

I’m about to get very real here.

I am 31. I have been dieting for about the last 20 years of my life. 

That is two-thirds of my life.

Guess what? I’m still overweight. I have had periods of my teenage years and adult years where I have been a so-called “normal” weight but the weight always comes back. Inevitably, I stop following whatever plan I had embarked on and I have never really learned how to deal with emotional eating.

A few days ago, I deleted the calorie counting app from my phone that I randomly fall back on. I took off my trusty FitBit. I no longer feel the need to quantify calories, steps, sleep, hours worked out, or what-the-fuck-ever thing I’m supposed to measure to lose weight.

I also unfollowed some people on Instagram and Facebook – because I don’t really care about what workout they’re doing. Or food they’re eating.
At the end of the day, I know several things… I want to eat better because I want to feel better. However, I will never have a be-all, end-all goal of weight loss again (it doesn’t work for me… it may for you so I’m not knocking that). I need to work harder on self-love because when this is consistent, I believe everything else will be easier. I also need to manage my stress eating.

So if you just read all of that, thanks. It felt good to get it off my chest.

On a side note, a few days out from this liberation, I do know this – eat like crap, feel like crap.

After I realized that I couldn’t live that way anymore, I also realized that I had the freedom to eat whatever the hell I wanted – guilt free. That included Diet Coke every night, accompanied by M&M’s and ice cream.

Inherently there’s nothing wrong with that. In my personal migraine world, though, extra sugar sends me to the medicine cabinet.

Reminder: I may be free to eat whatever the hell I want, and should eat whatever the hell I want, but I should also remember, for me, there may be consequences.

Next up… cookie review from my little sweet tooth foodie, Logan!

-KO

What I Ate Today

I started this so-called “journey” about a month ago. I walked out of an integrative medicine doctor’s office with all kinds of emotions – wonder, excitement, and when I really think about it, fear.

Fear because I knew that if I wanted to feel better, my life would have to change.

The doctor had just told me that part of the reason my knees hurt and my migraines were so bad was inflammation – chronic, internal inflammation. She actually said I was “a little ball of inflammation” as she discussed taking turmeric and butterbur supplements, along with drastically overhauling my diet.

Harsh? Actually, no. I needed to hear it. In the context of our conversation, the “little ball of inflammation” comment fit just fine.

I left the office that day, called my coworker, a dietitian, and fired off numerous questions. 

Then I Google-searched recipes.

I followed the anti-inflammatory diet for one day.

Then, I had what I always tell me husband is an “internal struggle” – hot tea or Diet Coke? Fresh fruit smoothie or a large cookie? I’m sure you can guess what won.

Last week, I taught two yoga classes. Then I danced my pants (or dress) off at a women’s benefit. I woke up with a deep pain in my lower back that extended in to my left hip and down my glute.

And then I realized. I am 31. I am too young for this.

This was not the “good sore” from teaching yoga (I could feel that in my abs) or that telltale pain in the feet and calves from dancing in heels. This was bone-weary pain from a body that had moved a lot and couldn’t keep up – but should have been able to.

After also ripping the thigh out of a pair of my pants (yes, I just got horribly real here) I realized my way of eating wasn’t cutting it. So, the way I had promised the doctor I’d try? It had to be better.

Like I said in this post, my purpose is not to count calories or lose weight. If that happens, that’s freaking awesome. My purpose is to heal my migraines and to actually feel my age. This past weekend? A hard reminder (or a knock on the head?) about why I need to change my life.

I’ve researched pretty extensively an anti-inflammatory diet. Some people make it more complex than it needs to be. Here’s what I ate today.

Keep in mind, if this doesn’t fit your version of an anti-inflammatory diet, feel free to tell me, but also tell me why. I’m still learning and I’m open to learning everything I can.

7am: Kodiak whole grain protein pancakes with real butter and real syrup, 2 cups coffee with half & half

1030am: 2 cups of tea

1115am: split a large banana with Logan

1230p: tuna with hummus, pickles and lettuce on a slice of Dave’s Killer Bread, full-fat cottage cheese, 2 squares dark chocolate 

2pm: a small handful of walnuts

4pm: (I ate an uncharacteristically early dinner) 2 eggs scrambled with turkey sausage and an apple 

5pm: cup of coffee with half & half (my goal is 1-2 cups… I caved)

745p: mixed berry smoothie with a handful of kale in cashew milk and a dollop of honey for sweetness 

I also drank an additional 6 cups of water throughout the day. I feel pretty virtuous today.

And a reminder for everyone… I tell myself this often….

-K.O.

The 4-Letter Word…

Diet.

I hate that word. It can mean any number of things, not all of it negative, but to many women (and unfortunately men, teenagers and children) it can bring about a lot of negative feelings.

For me, diet is a 4-letter word. You know, like shit and damn and a lot of other worse words I won’t type here today (because my mom might be reading – hi Mom!)

Ironic because diet is why I am here – but not in the context that I dislike so much.

So I want to set the tone right off the bat.

I am 31 years old. I have probably spent 18 years of my life dieting. My weight has gone down. My weight has gone up. In fact – it wouldn’t surprise me if all of these weight fluctuations are the cause of the inflammation that is now making my migraines so hard to control. And I have reached the point in my life where I am so done with dieting.

I wouldn’t mind being a few (or 20) pounds lighter. But I’m done with punishing myself and restricting myself because it’s a terrible way to live.

Instead, I am now healing myself with food.

From this point forward, if you read the word diet in my posts, it is simply referring to the anti-inflammatory lifestyle I have embarked on. It may also pertain to my son’s allergies. It will not mean anything about calorie restriction unless I note otherwise. If I end up losing weight on this lifestyle change – hey, bonus.

Update on the allergy front: Logan will be sampling some food-allergy safe cookies and candy from a couple companies, so watch for the reviews on his opinions on them in the coming weeks!

-K.O.